Football my arse Watcha - I'm Ricky Tomlinson. But you might know me better as jim Royle or Mike Bassett... or that scouse git off the telly!

Anyway, like you, I love my footy - I could watch it 'til the cows come home! People don't believe me when I tell them that, they reckon I'm talking a lod of old 'Bullocks'!